Defining the Abstract

    Defining the Abstract

Catching a cloud

    Timing the timeless in the

Blinding Shroud

    Temporary Eternity

Dark as day

    Falling to Freedom as the

Death dies away

    Screaming a whisper

Killing the Dead

    Your heart fills with Love as your

Eyes see the Dread

    A gray, neutral midnight

Not a Place nor Alone

    A loving, hating deep-fright

Is the great twilight zone.

This is coming from the 8th grader who loves paradoxes. Paradoxes, oxymorons, nonsensical contradictions and the like. Even now,  two years after this poem, my love of paradoxes remains firm. The self-contradicting endless mind-bending loop of a true paradox will entertain me for hours.

As you can clearly see, this poem was born from my love of said reality-bending strings of wonderful nonsense.

On to the critique! 

You may notice some odd capitalization choices here. That comes from my own poem style of capitalizing words that hold weight in the meaning of the poem. This has gotten me in trouble with a number of grammar teachers who also happen to be grading my poems. "But it's my style!" I'll complain. "But it's incorrect." The would reply. So I would then return to my desk with an 80% and theatrically pout until my friends came to see what was wrong. I then would tell them in an overly-dramatic voice that "The teacher said it wasn't right". I was clearly not taking it too harsly, but wanting (as usual) for an excuse to pull a funny face or speak in an odd voice.

Negativity:

The second half of the third stanza. I'm not too fond of it, as it seems to grate against the general rhythm of the poem. Nor am I fond of the words, but really I was desperate for a filler.

Using the words 'twilight zone' in the poem at all. 

Some of you may be familiar with the wonderful black and white television show that went by the same name. It specialized in odd, abstract concepts such as the mannequin really being the one in control of the ventriloquist or a boy with Godlike powers who would turn anyone who upset him into giant toys.

While the show does fit the theme of my poem, I really don't think that using a show name helps the poem in any way.

Granted, most people may not have even heard of the show, but for those that have, that blight stands out.

Here we are, it's your time again!

Critiques from the audience.